~ World’s Climate Doesn’t Believe In Political Change ~
At the recent Human Summit animal and plant leaders discussed the dire situation facing the planet as humans continue to shit in the collective nest so that a very, very, very, very, very small and wealthy elite may continue to profit from the suffering and dispossession of their own species majority and potentially all other life forms on the earth.
Whilst it was acknowledged that some financially wealthy human political puppets with a strong grasp of language and propaganda had recently made written efforts to curb the greenhouse gas emissions of their respective state civilizations, it was also noted that the planet did not sign any such ratification or agreement, and that the naked apes economic concept of “trading, taxing and offsetting carbon” was also not recognized by the earth.
Large deposits of coal, oil and gas were notably indifferent when told that the human civilization- now consisting of up to 7.3 billion individuals- could be getting their addiction to electricity sourced from the light and wind generated by the nearest star and the emotional baggage of the planets only moon.
Meanwhile the forests of Indonesia were being burned by some of the poorest humans as gas wells flared and leaked from the fields of some of the wealthiest humans. The planets atmosphere continues to add surcharges and interest to the tenants bill as the humans themselves bomb and bicker that their blood is thicker than oil.
At the conclusion of the Human Summit an agreement was made between animal and plant leaders to maintain the current evolutionary trajectory whilst citing the need to adopt urgent adaptive survival techniques- and finally to say fuck it, let the chips fall where they may. Critically endangered and extinct species were honoured with song and dance and the summit closed with a single hummingbirds summation that ‘the humans may well insist that climate change is an act of God- but all animals are atheists- and since humanity has resolved to sacrifice its own spirit on the altar of its faith in a globalised and capitalist economy, we bid them good luck in their collapse and place our trust in the earth to fulfill that which is the homeostatic wonder of her nature’.
When asked to comment on the Human Summit and climate change the planet simply calved an iceberg the size of Manhattan Island and sighed- ‘I don’t care’.
Benjamin W Wild (c) 2015