When taking the tram across the Styx,
Don’t forget to validate your ticket
– you’ll be coming back.

When you go to Hell
Don’t go empty handed,
You’re a guest.
Take wine, cards, or a good book you can swap
– Hell has a wonderful library.

If you happen to go to Heaven,
Take your shoes off at the door,
God’s a Muslim;
If you’re Christian,
And Jewish if you’re an Atheist,
And Hindi if you’re Buddhist.

In fact, God is a vice-versa figure
And like’s to keep us on our toes.
Don’t worry about it;
It’s just God’s way
Of playing Devil’s advocate.

If you happen to end up in a labyrinth,
Stay calm, and begin to find your way in.

If you happen to find yourself in a maze,
Most people were looking for something else.

If you get lost at sea, and begin to drown,
Be thankful you won’t need to pay for burial costs
In such a deep and life filled grave.

If you ever have to spend time in purgatory,
Don’t look at the clock,
Time will go faster,
But look busy,
Even though you’re not being paid.

Should you go to Paradise,
Try and enjoy it for what it is,
And resist taking photographs,
You might be disappointed later.

While amongst the living,
Take maximum advantage of dancing,
You shall never be held guilty or accountable for this.

And smile; you will live longer.

When you take the tram across the Styx,
Be sure to validate your ticket
– you’ll  be coming back.

Benjamin Wild © 2014

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